shitness.

I'm done with graduating. Want something more in life. I want to follow my dreams. Keep my head up high. Don't let anyone see my deeply hidden depression. I think i are fucked up. I'm a depressed happy kind of person. It sucks. Glad i'm not so deeply depressed tho. I need to get out of here. I want to go to career academy, get my degree, work for a while, hopefully will love my job, then go to college again to become a teacher. I think thinking i was going the wrong path was good for me. I hopefully will keep up my motivation, and do something with my life and not get stuck in this village. Please God. Make me a better person, too. Set me free. Sorry. Very sorry. I just don't want to fall so deep again. Hopefully i'm not jinxing myself. But hey. Whatever. Whatever happens, i'm in it till the end.

Relapse.

Jittery. Mind racing. Can't really think straight. I need a ciggggggg.

I just got a call this morning, and my mom verified of who's going to take my little brother to Anchorage. So. She's not coming to my graduation. The person who brought me to my first day of school isn't able to make it to my graduation. Hate the idea of it.

ohmygosh

I'm so nervous. Hopefully my plans will work out. For right now, I wanna make it to the egg hunt in 30 minutes. Hopefully the laundry will be done before then and make it over. =/.....=>

AAAAAH!

I'M SO STRESSED OUT!!!! 25 MORE DAYS TILL GRADUATION AND I HAVE A SHIT LOAD TO FINISH! HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS? GOD PLEASE HELP ME.

Strength Is Inside of Me.

I'm going to try get my life in order again. I'm going to keep strong. Let my passed loved ones proud of me. When i get kicked down, I'll go back up-- no matter what it takes. No one will bring me down so low again. I'll know my limits. Please give me strength to do so. With your help, i could do anything. Let me finish what i started. Give me the wisdom to know what to do. Everything happens for a reason.